Trust in me said the snake trust in me.

So, my life seems so roller coaster-ish lately it had been wretched for so many weeks but its getting back to normal thats what i seem like im doing so often lately.. chasing normal... i was almost there then she went poof last night.. i doubt it was anything other than she was just tired and forgot to call bk. i trust in her, not myself but her. i dont trust my self not to worry i dont trust my self not to spaz out when she doesnt talk to me for a couple of hours. i dont trust myself to not cry when times are down. i dont trust myself to not worry when shes away. i dont trust myself to make her happy. i trust her, i know her love is true, i know she really does care, i know when shes away she would never do anything to make me worry, i know she worries with an honest heart, i know she will always be there. but goddamn it. i dont trust me. every time i start to feel better about trusting myself im lowered a notch or two between my family upset with me, things going wrong and the only logical explanation is it my fault... i know i need to trust myself but i dont know how to fix that... help. please.