stupid

so yeah... i feel like a complete idiot. and a hypocrite. i need to get over myself and just kinda learn to trust i guess. i need to stop doubting myself as well as everyone else. i love her with all of my heart i need to get it through my thick skull that she is the exact same. i need to learn that the whole world isnt out to get me as much as it may seem. she told me last night that when i question her like i was it pushes her away, when she said that i felt like ramming my head into a wall i remembered yelling the same thing at my mom when she said she didnt trust me. i really do see how much impact i have i didnt notice before. shes sad and i have a chance to help and all im doing is making things worse. not anymore . i love her to much to just let her slip through my fingers and disappear. ill do better. i love you elizabeth.

ouch.

that hurt.
i dont know its its "high school drama" or what but that hurt. why would you want the person who you say ( and i do believe you) love so much to leave you alone... why. why those words... idk if they have a different tone to you but leave me alone is what i scream at the people i hate not the hate of like i want to kill you but like my mom the people i have lived with family who i dont really want to ever be around for more than a few hours... leave me alone is what i scream when i cant take it anymore. ... so im sorry that im hurt by 3 little words but i really would much rather have read 3 other words... ones that would have made me more calm . not words that just make me want to cry .