The Little Things.

last year i was going through depression really bad actually. it really started today last year since its now may 3... i came home and my aunt was just sitting in the chair... and then she finally spoke a little boy.. he he was in 7th grade had been shot it was a hunting accident he didnt make it out of the woods. now i live on the farm where he was hunting. i cried for a week i stayed home from school the same amount.. when you hear people talking about " the idiot boy who got shot by his on fucking dad" u have trouble coping but i started to date some one and my self esteem really started to grow. then i moved in with her. were nothing i did was right. everything was horribly wrong.. she would scream at me at least 4 times a week... my uncle tells me this is when i came close to a psychotic break down .. in the quite literal since.. i was alone in a house where i truly wasnt wanted cause i didnt fit the mold. i became meek again and just tried to stay out of the way and not cry on the hardwood. i finally convinced my mom to let me move so i moved here.. i stayed meek. i do love it here but im in fear any more. if they were to find out id be out. there's something to worry about. my self esteem really hasnt gone up much since iv been here. iv been to scared. something always happens and i always end up alone. with a brand new ocean so now that iv rambled on about why i shouldnt have any self esteem i have to be a big girl now.. and take responsibility and start acting the way i need to.. and if u actualy read this far thanks.... ok yeah so im going to get it together now... im going to do it... i need to do it.. im going ot prove the crazy lady wrong im not going to be a fuck up. im going to prove. myself wrong. and i will be happy.. rodge ramn it... im going to need alot of love. but im going to do it - thematic music that is hopeful plays in the back ground -