Butterflies?

So yesterday was a really bad day... i broke my fingernail and my toenail so far back the bleed... and i just stopped and cried in the hallway... it was bad. and then later ( i think) i let my paranoid PMS hormones control me into thinking she was pissed at me.. and well i felt super bad cause im this giant blob of tears and fist that keeps switching back and forth... and i no it has to be horrible to deal with...then today when i got home i tried to talk to her... and at first she sounded reluctant to talk then... i fell asleep >.< but once we both were on and awake ... she really wanted to talk and it made me so happy cause she is so beautiful and she makes me smile at just the thought of her, i know i sound like a twitterpated bird but she really is that amazing for me. She says she loves me and i by no means dispute that im just worried that we are getting used to this pattern we have... im scared i dont give her butterflies anymore ... i know she still makes my heart leap when she says she loves me or even when she IMs me... i know that is crazy but she makes me so happy ... happier than anyone has ever made me before... shes out at a show right now... and i knew she needed to go for the money but i just wish i could have been there to wrap her in my arms and make it so she couldn't go... i wish we were closer... i wish i didnt feel this need to hide... but i know i have to wait ... at least 80days before i tell anyone else... im not sure who all i can trust there... except the one i have told... i know she will love me know matter what and i hope she approves of her... they will meet soon i hope.. i just know that it will be good... i crave her arms around me more and more each day... i wake up having dreams of her lips against mine... i fall asleep with her presence near me... while friends are planing weddings im trying to figure out if i like adoption or fertilization better... iv changed and i feel better this way im happier i feel loved im not worried that im going to be betrayed. ... im head over heals... and as much as she says i have her wrapped around my finger i feel its really the other way... but none the less... she makes me happy with not ifs, or, and buts... im just happy with her... and that is the best change of all >.<